TOW Chandler's Tea
by Davidtatts
Summary: This story is based in Series 9. There are a few story lines in it involving a love triangle with Mona and Rachel and Ross.
1. MONA'S BACK

**The One With Chandler's Tea**

**Scene 1: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica is cooking; Chandler comes ****out of the bedroom**.

**Chandler:** Honey, you know how, every thanksgiving you're the one cooking, and I'm just sitting in the couch watching TV?

**Monica**: Yeah...

**Chandler**: Well, you'll be happy to know that's how it's gonna be this year as well.

**Monica**: YES! Sorry, but you know that you're a terrible cook, right? Chandler: I'm not a terrible cook!

**Monica: **No, I just remembered, Macaroni and Cheese is supposed to look like a brain in lumpy milk...

**Chandler**: OK, maybe I'm not so good at making "normal" food, but I have some recipes under my belt.

**Monica**: I thought I licked off all of my homemade caramel sauce...

**Chandler**: I'll have you know that when I and Joey lived together, we used to make the best tea in the city! It was even better than chocolate milk!

**Monica**: OK, why don't you make it for dessert then?

**Chandler**: OK, I will... But will you make me some chocolate milk as well..?

**OPENING CREDITS**

**Scene 2: Ross' apartment, Rachel, Ross and Emma are there.**

**Rachel: **Ross, did you remember to bring Emma's diapers?

**Ross**: Rachel, it's the third time you've asked me that, and for the third time... No...

**Rachel**: Well for God's sake, go get them; we don't wanna be behind Monica's thanksgiving schedule! You know how mad she got the last time that happened!

**Ross: **Yeah, I don't wanna be without turkey another thanksgiving...

**Rachel**: Than go!

(Ross runs into the bathroom, and there's a knock on the door)

**Ross**: Rach, could you get that?

**Rache**l: Sure...

(She opens the door, and is shocked to see Mona standing in front of her)

**Rachel**: Oh, my God, Mona!

**Mona**: Rachel... (Sarcastically) How shocking it is to see you here.

**Ross: **(Walking into the living room) Rachel, I can't find that damn Baby powd... Mona!

**Mona**: Hi Ross.

**Ross**. Wh...What are you doing here?

**Mona**: I'm here to talk to you.

**Rachel**: Yeah, well, to bad Mona, because we were actually on our way to thanksgiving dinner at Ross' sister, so...

**Ross**: Maybe you wanna come with us?

**Rache**l: What?

**Mona**: Sure! I mean, I don't have anywhere else to go so...

**Rachel**: Oh, bummer...


	2. AT THANKSGIVING

**Scene 3: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica is cooking, while Phoebe, ****Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.**

Phoebe: So, you see Joey, I really need your help. My new agent says that if I'm gonna have any chance of getting a record deal, I really have to make some new songs.

Joey: And you want me to help you?

Phoebe: Yeah, I was thinking you could give me, like, some material from, you know, a mind numbingly stupid, but extremely hot celebrity's life, you know?

Joey: Oh, my God, that makes me feel so good! Of course I'll help you.

Chandler: (Sarcastically) The two of you, working on a song? Be sure to mention me in your Grammy speech!

Phoebe: Of course I will! (Chandler walks towards the kitchen, and Phoebe mouths "NO" to Joey, and he's totally agreeing)

Chandler: So, how's it going, honey?

Monica: I'm fine! When are you and Joey starting to work on your tea?

Chandler: Actually, I think Joey's a little occupied with Diane Warwick over there, so I guess I'll be making it alone.

Monica: Oh, well... Oh, dinner's almost ready, so go get those things I got you. It's in the bedroom.

Chandler: Do I have to?

Monica: YES! GO! NOW!

(Chandler goes shamefully towards the bedroom, as Ross, Rachel, Emma and Mona walks into the apartment.)

Rachel: Hi everybody! Happy thanksgiving!

Ross: Hey, look who we brought!

Mona: Hi.

Monica: Oh, my God, are you two back together?

Rachel: No, they're definitely not back together! No, she just wanted to talk to him about something. So, they're definitely not back together, NO!

Monica: OK... Well, dinner's on the table, so I guess we can start eating. Chandler!

(Chandler comes out of the bedroom, with a plastic plate, a plastic cup and plastic knife and fork)

Mona: Why is he eating from that?

Ross: Well, he broke all of Monica's wedding china last year, so he got grounded for two weeks, had to buy new china, and now this. But actually, we're not supposed to talk about it.

Phoebe: Yeah, if you wanna know the rest of the thanksgiving rules, Monica taped a poster to the bathroom door. But actually, you're supposed to learn them long before the dinner...

(Mona looks shocked at her)

Phoebe: Yeah, I don't know why I'm friends with her either...

**Scene 4: Mon and Chandler's apartment, Chandler is walking towards the gang ****with a tray full of tea cups.**

Rachel: Oh, Chandler, it smells delicious! What's in it?

Chandler: Uhm... That doesn't matter, just drink it. And, Joey, I put in a bit extra of the good stuff in yours...

(They all drink it, and put down the cups)

Ross: Oh, my God, that tasted great!

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, you should definitely make this more often!

Joey: Even better than the last time I tasted it... But I really couldn't taste the alcohol.

(Ten minutes later, Monica is drunk)

Monica: Chandelandeler! I jusht wanna say that that coffee was the best tea I ever, never, ever tasted! And I love you! You're even a better chef than I am!

Chandler: Really?

Monica: No, actually, I'm not that drunk

**Scene 5: Monica and Chandler's apartment, everyone's there.**

Joey: OK so, then you would go to the, you know, plingy thing, and then you would go back to the bangy thing.

Phoebe: I don't really understand…

Joey: OK, Pheebs, do you want the help, or not?

Phoebe: Alright, so it goes "We loved each other, he and I"...

Joey: Oh, Pheebs, isn't it better to say "He and she"?

Pheebs: Oh, yeah!

Monica: Phoebe, I just wanna say thaat yoouu are the grreatest sininger I've ever heard.

Chandler: OK, I'm really worried now.

Phoebe: Oh, I know! She didn't say singer right.

(Everyone's, like, "Yeah, sure, that too")

Mona: (Holding Emma) Okay I'm gonna burp you now pretty baby.

Rachel: Oh, you know what... I think I gotta change her now.

Mona: I can do it.

Rachel: Are you the mommy or the nanny? No, so I think I better do that, OK. And maybe Ross, you would like to help me. (She mouths "I need to talk to you".)

Mona: Huh?

Ross: Yeah she's a real bad changer... person.

Mona: OK, then.


	3. THE LOVE TRIANGLE BEGINS

**Scene 6: Mon and Chandler's Bath Room, Rachel and Ross are there.**

Ross: What's up, Rach?

Rachel: Uhm, I don't know, Ross, it's just... You're not gonna get back together with Mona, right?

Ross: Whoa, where did that come from? We just met again after, like, a year or something.

Rachel: I know, but, you know... She's not gonna just leave now. She's probably gonna wanna get back together.

Ross: Rachel... What is your point?

Rachel: It's nothing, I just... I don't know. I guess, I just don't want Emma to have, like, a step mom... You know? I saw her out there, with my baby, trying to talk to her, getting her attention. I just don't want her to come between me and...

Ross: And who?

Rachel: ...Me and Emma.

Ross: So what you're saying is that I should just tell her that I can't see other people right now, because of Emma?

Rachel: Oh, Ross, that would be great, thanks! (She's about to leave)

Ross: I'm not gonna do that!

Rachel: Why not?

Ross: "Why not"? I'm tired of this! You do this every time I start to go out with someone else! Every single time!

Rachel: Oh yeah? Name one!

Ross: Bonnie, that girl from Toys'R'Us, Emily!

Rachel: Hey, I did not cause the thing about Emily!

Ross: OK, I'll let you have that one, but the other ones are totally your fault.

Rachel: Oh, that is...

Ross: It's totally true! And every time you do it, you give me the impression that we are getting back together, and then you just blow me off!

Rachel: Oh, please, I do not blow you off!

Ross: Well, now you have a choice. Either I keep on being with Mona, or you make a commitment to your words. It's your choice. Let me know.

(Ross leaves, and Rachel is left alone in the bathroom, thinking)

**Scene 7: Monica and Chandler's apartment, everyone's still there. Monica's ****better now.**

Monica: Hey Ross, what's up?

Ross: With me? Why would you ask me? Go talk to Rachel she'll tell you what's going on, cause I'm fine, I am A-OK, why would you ask me?

(Monica walks into the bathroom Rachel's sitting on the toilet seat crying)

Monica: Hey...I talked to Ross.

Rachel: Oh what'd he say?

Monica: He said… lots of things... But the only thing I actually understood was that I should talk to you. What's up? What happened?

Rachel: Okay… I said I don't want him with Mona, and then he got all… you know... he told me to either stick to my word, and get back with him, cause I make him think we would get together every time I don't want him with someone.

Monica: Or?

Rachel: How'd you guess? Or he will get back with Mona.

Monica: So..? (Rachel makes an expression that says that she doesn't know) I'll give you some time.

(She steps out the door, Ross's talking to Joey)

Phoebe:(singing) Mama, mama why would you leave me?

Monica: I'll just wait in here. (She walks into the shower, and closes the curtains)

**Scene 8: Back outside in the living room. Phoebe's playing and singing ****horribly.**

Chandler: Okay Phoebe, PHOEBE, stop it!

Phoebe: Did you feel my problems?

Chandler: Here, Pheebs take this special non-alcoholic tea.

Phoebe: OK, as long as there's no alcohol. Cause then, you know, I couldn't sing my Thanksgiving special sing a long with the next big hit Smelly Dog in Central Perk later.

Chandler: Heck, take 5 mugs full.

Phoebe: Awww, Chandler, thank you so much.

Joey: Dude quit being a dork.

Chandler: Well…. Fine! (He spills the rest of the tea in the sink, so Phoebe doesn't get to drink anything)

(Back in the bathroom Rachel opens up the shower curtain, and Monica is cleaning)

Rachel: Bit obsessed?

Monica: Yeah, what's your point?

Rachel: Nothing…

Monica: OK, so what did you decide?

Rachel: OK, I am completely in love with Ross, we were always meant to be together but I was to busy with...

Monica: Didn't ask for your life story, OK?


	4. HOW DOES IT END?

**Scene 9: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Rachel are still in the ****bathroom talking. The rest of the gang, including Mona, are sitting in the****living room.**

Mona: Ross, remember why I came to your apartment in the first place?

Ross: Yeah, you said you wanted to talk to me about something.

Mona: Yeah, I still have to...

Ross: OK. Let's go to the balcony.

(They go out on the balcony)

Ross: So... What's up?

Mona: Well, actually, ever since we broke up, I've been feeling kinda down.

Ross: Yeah?

Mona: Yeah. And I know that your situation is a little less complicated right now, so I just need to tell you…

Ross: Yes..?

Mona: I still love you.

Ross: Oh...

Mona: So what do you think?

Ross: Oh... Well actually, if it's OK, I think I need some time to think about that, because, it's kinda a little out of the blue. I'm in a very complicated situation right now, and I really need to sort things out... Is that OK?

Mona: Yes, of course it is, I mean we haven't seen each other in like a year and... Just take all the time you need, Ross.

Ross: Thank you, Mona.

(In the apartment, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom.)

Rachel: Hey, guys, have any of you seen Ross?

Chandler: I think he went to the balcony...

Rachel: Oh!

(She turns around, and sees Mona and Ross hugging. You can see the ache she gets from watching them)

**Scene 10: Monica and Chandler's apartment, the thanksgiving party is over ****and everyone has left. Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV, as ****Monica comes running out of the bathroom.**

Monica: Oh my God! Honey, what's the date today?

Chandler: Hmmm... It's the 27th of November, 2003 and it's 7:30pm

Monica: Oh my God!

Chandler: Oh my God what?

Monica: I forgot! Today was my last day ovulating.

Chandler: So how about you go check to see if you are still ovulating, and if you are then we'll give it a shot. And if not I'll just stay right here on this couch and watch TV.

Monica: And how about if I am ovulating we go have sex, and if I'm not we still go and have sex.

Chandler: That is a great idea, now I finally know what I'm thankful for!

(Monica leaves to go check if she's still ovulating, and soon she comes running out of the bathroom again.)

Monica: Yes! I'm still ovulating, and we've still got time, so c'mon Bing! Time to give me some Chan-Chan-man loving!

(They go off the bedroom)

Chandler: OK, but only if you admit that my tea was better than your thanksgiving dinner.

Monica: Honey, you're not that sexy…

**Scene 11: Mona, Ross and Rachel in Ross' apartment. Mona is holding Emma, ****Rachel and Ross are watching.**

Mona: Hi, my little girl, how are you today darling?

(Rachel Takes Emma off her.)

Rachel: She'd be a lot better if she was left alone for a moment!

Ross: Rachel!

Mona: That's ok, I'm sorry Rachel, I don't want you to feel like I'm intruding!

Rachel: Don't worry.

Ross: Rach, can I see you in the kitchen?

Rachel: Sure! (Picking up Emma) I'll just bring her…

(Rachel and Ross go into the kitchen, while Mona waits in the living room.)

Ross: What the hell was that! You know how much Mona means to me! Why can't you give her a break?

Rachel: Yeah, well you know how much you mean to me, too, Ross!

Ross: What do you mean? Of course I know! You're the mother of my child. I'll always care for you!

(Ross hugs her.)

Rachel: Look, Ross, you don't understand! I don't want you dating Mona!

Ross: Rachel! We had this discussion earlier, and I said…

Rachel: Just hear me out Ross! It's because… Because…

Ross: Cause what? Look Rachel, I may be Emma's dad, but that does not mean I can't have a girlfriend!

Rachel: No, it's just...

(Mona opens the kitchen door, without either Ross or Rachel noticing it.)

Rachel: …That I don't wanna lose you...

Ross: What..?

Rachel: I miss you Ross!

Ross: Wh... Uhm... So, what are you trying to tell me?

Rachel: I'm telling you that I don't wanna lose you, and I miss you... And that I'm hoping that you'll give me another chance in your life.

Ross: Wow… Rachel, I don't…

Rachel: (Starts to leave, because she thinks that he's gonna blow her off, but Ross stops her)

Ross: Rachel! Wait... Let's give it a try.

Rachel: (With tears in her eyes) Really..?

Ross: Yeah, really! Let's give it a shot.

(Rachel runs to hug him with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face)

Ross: I love you so much!

Rachel: I love you too Ross…

(They have a long and intense kiss, and Mona sees it. She decides not to ruin it, and leaves quietly.)


	5. AFTER THE CREDITS

**Scene 12: Joey's place, Phoebe and Joey are there.**

Phoebe: (On the phone) Well, what the hell do you mean about that! WHAT! My songs aren't good enough! I'll tell you what's not good enough, you fat, nasty son of a... (Putting the phone down) She hung up on me!

Joey: I'm sorry your agent didn't like your new songs, Pheebs.

Phoebe: Yeah, me too. But you know what, I still think our songs rock, and I don't care what that... not-song-knowing bitch thinks!

Joey: Yeah, I think so too! I mean, "Fat, Drunken Bitch" is one of the finest masterpieces you've ever made!

Phoebe: Really?

Joey: Yeah!

Phoebe: Well, you did help me write it, so you should take some of the credit as well.

Joey, Oh, no, it was all your idea, I think you should...

Phoebe: Yeah, come to think of it, I am a genius.

Joey: Well, that's not exactly what I...

Phoebe: Yeah, mhmm, me too! Anyways, I think I should go, my pet's getting lonely.

Joey: You got a pet?

Phoebe: Yeah, Avril, my pet-ostrich.

Joey: You have a pet-ostrich?

Phoebe: Duh, where did you think I got the inspiration for "Wild-Ass Emu"?

Joey: Oh, yeah, that's a classic!

Phoebe: Well, right about now, it's probably halfway through eating my sofa, so bye!

Joey: Bye! "Wild-Ass Emu, running down the street, Wild-Ass Emu, sharp and lumpy beak!" I LOVE IT!

**End!**


End file.
